*happy dance*

Just had my first +OPK test. Ever. I'd quit using them in July when I ran out since I never got a dark test line. I'm almost as excited as if it was a pregnancy test, but hey, at least I'm gonna ovulate!!! Happy happy joy joy joy, trying to wait another hour to tell hubby when he asked me to wake him up for the day instead of waking him up early. lol

HAPPY 100 POSTS!

And the Clomid Crazies continue ...

So I had an appointment for laser hair removal today. It's never fun, and I never do it near my period because the hormones make you more sensitive to the laser. We did that once, and I decided never again.

Well, guess what?

Clomid makes your body's hormones go a bit wacky, too. I *CRIED* through the first 5 minutes, so she stopped and said, "we can reschedule for next month." I was like, "okay. *sniff*" Yeah. I've never cried before. She is 7 months pregnant and said, "Well, honey, with the Clomid, you have more hormones going through you than I do right now." She's an APRN who used to work at planned parenthood. lol. So yeah. She knows. She marked today as "no treatment" and rescheduled for the week before Christmas. Hopefully I get pregnant and won't be able to go in, but damn, that was the worst one EVER, including the treatment where I ended up BURNED.

I called hubby, and he was somewhat sympathetic and apologized (since I'm doing the hair removal at his request and expense), then I went to Costco with my DisGrace, Dizzy, and Bru, and by the time I got home, I was near hysterical. Hubby gave me a hug and when I burst into tears, he very gently said, "why don't you have a nap?" yeah. sweet, huh? And he told me last night when he did finally wake up that he loves being married to me and is thankful we've stuck it out and feels like things are settling down now. geeze, enter Clomid Crazies. I slept, but then got mad when I woke up because he said he was going to bed and I had asked earlier if we'd get to spend some time together. We didn't get our date this weekend because he slept through the time we were going to, and then he got mad at me Sunday night for not waking him up for a movie (I *tried*, but he was too stinking tired and told me to let him sleep some more). Anyway. I picked up kiddo and we went to the store for a couple of things (shudder, i hate grocery shopping the week of thanksgiving). When I got home, he was in bed but not asleep, just depressed, and I apologized for being nuts, told him how much I hate Clomid, and he said, "you're just so confusing right now!" I laughed and said, "Imagine how it feels being on this side of things." He laughed too. I *think* we're okay -- we kissed and made up, and he seems to be sleeping well. But man ... Clomid is of the devil. At least it's not like the IUD with everyone telling me I shouldn't be feeling any side effects from the hormones. With the Clomid, everyone goes, "Man, that has bad side effects," including the APRN at the laser removal place who then said, "do you need a doctor's note for work? i'll write one!" LOL.

At any rate. Hoping it does the trick this cycle ... if not, I think we'll work on the testing side of things in January when our flex spend can help cover things. BUT ... I just have to have faith in the revelations I've had and the Priesthood blessings I've been given that promise I'll have more children ... when it's time. Sitting in church Sunday, the thought came to mind that if the Lord promises something, it WILL happen if we are living worthily. So I have some work to do, and sometimes the Lord needs us to play an active part in making those promises come to pass, but I will have more kids. When it's time.

AUNTIE VOODOO #5

Again with the foot zones. This one wasn't as bad. Last week was excruciating since I had just started my period, but wow, this one only hurt where she was being more aggressive with the trigger points. She did tell me just to keep trying to get pregnant since everything was looking better and she's not worried about risking an ectopic, so that made me feel better. I did tell her we tried Clomid (didn't tell her I took my last dose this morning) and she didn't really say anything about it. So there's that.

Had such a bad day Tuesday with hubby's bipolar crash and my being mean to him and moody and irritable ... made his crash worse, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Her Royal PITA and go to work that night. My CNM wrote him a note to excuse him for missing work. So yeah. Kind of strange for a man to take a note to work to excuse a missed day from a midwife, but whatever. He just has missed a lot of work this year and has to take a note in if he misses anything for the next few months.

Work is okay -- Boss is out of town, I'm in a new account on a new platform, trying to remember everything. Still messing up sometimes, but hey, that's life. At least I have a job, hubby has a job, the bills are getting paid (even if one or two are late ...). It's better to be here and not freaking out than having extra money and still freaking out about lack of money (like I did all last year ...). GAH. We're doing okay though. Still intending to list the house in the spring, hoping it sells quickly, which is iffy in this market. But ... if/when I do get PG, the work sitch has got to change. *sigh*

So there's an update.

CLOMID

Took my second dose of the stuff this morning, and I've been burning up all day. Can't decide if it's the bug we still have or the medicine, but whatever. It's November and I want the AC on! hehehe

Auntie Voodoo #4

Saw her yesterday -- lotsa pain. Guess having a period makes it worse. My cramps didn't let up until late last night, but at least they're gone for now! While I was there, my cousin called. Her husband has some teeth that are abscessed and his whole left side of his face swelled up -- she needed her mom to watch their kids, but they also needed another Priesthood holder to help Auntie's husband give him a blessing. So I called DH and he came, even though he's also sick (fluish). Awww ...

Period showed up this morning. On to the next cycle. Had a meltdown a couple days ago but I'm okay today. Going to drop off my Clomid RX this morning and get that going this week. Maybe we'll get twins.

BFN first thing this morning -- no period, nauseated, huge boobs, acne like crazy, smells make me sick, etc., but still having really bad cramps (5 days in a row). So the negative test is a struggle for me. I've been crying much of the day -- makes it hard to work that way, but ever so grateful I work at home.

Hubby was very sweet when I burst into tears just now. He hugged me and said, "think happy thoughts; it'll help your body do what it's supposed to. invite the Spirit honey." I sure love him. Even on his bad days. And especially on mine.

Started having cramps a couple days ago, like heavy enough I should be having my period, but I'm not. They lasted for like 12 hours, and when I woke up yesterday morning, they were gone. They've come and gone a few times since then. *sigh* This whole process is just rather sucky.

I was really frustrated last night, tired, not feeling well, etc. Apparently I have a tummy bug which kept me running to the bathroom for a while. I had hubby give me a blessing, which helped my mood immensely, and let me know it'll happen when it's supposed to, and I'll understand why when it does happen. So ... I try to be patient, but it's hard when I'm wanting a beautiful little Polynesian baby right now. :)

At any rate, I keep charting and temping and loving my family, being grateful for my awesome kid and stepkid, and my fantabulous hubby.

*mwah*